2004-02-05 - 11:19 p.m.
I baby-sat today. I stopped in to see my mother on the way home, it was okay. On the ride home (a 45-minute drive) I decided--what the hell?---to get a Happy Meal. I fed two small children and managed to keep them moderately entertained, I've earned greasy food.
So I got a Happy Meal and an additional cheeseburger. The meat tasted oddly real, which creeped me out. Burgers aren't supposed to taste like actual beef at McDonalds! But this is not my issue. Post-fries and burgers, I reached in to examine the toy I had received. Guess what my special toy was??!!?!
Cookies.
McDonaldland "original" cookies. Not the chocolate chip ones they had ages ago (that weren't half bad), but bland, dull cookies in the shape of various McDonald character heads. Cookies that expired November 27, 2003.
I wasn't excited to get a toy. In fact, I expected to get a fairly dumb toy. But dumb in a funny way, not dumb in a piece-of-shit-waste-of-money way. Did they ASSUME that because I was 25 I might require more food instead of a delightful bathtime plaything? Did they run out of toys? Why didn't they warn me? What's the problem?!?!
I can't eat them. They're creepy and old. They don't smell right. I'm forced to throw them away. I got nothing. Nothing to show for my Happy meal except 483895 fat grams that have been added to my abs and inner thighs. Woe!
